The next series of blog will be excerpts from my book in progress. I have been thinking about writing this book for two years and have even started it. Writing is not easy especially when you are like me and work in spurts of energy. The ideas flow like the Nile when encased in my brain but the transition to paper often resembles a pond.
Who says a book must be a compilation of hundreds of chapters anyway? Hmmm, churning...
In any case look out for my next series of blogs
Friday, May 9, 2014
While listening to MSNBC there was a question posed to Donnie and Marie regarding the secret to a happy marriage. Marie took a moment a silence pondering the question. Ofcourse, she had no answer but, my brain churned and I realized, there is one secret to a happy marriage; it’s the same as a happy relationship/friendship.
What happens when two individuals meet and decide to have a marriage or friendship? Well, there is the initial getting to know each other then perhaps a little disagreement here and there as the rules of the relationship is defined then, over time some synchronicity. But, where does the relationship fall apart?
It falls apart when individuals stop being individuals.
Individuals go into marriages and suddenly they are a ‘we’; they are now “one”. Next are the compromises which, some would say, you have to compromise in a marriage/relationship/friendship but, do you?
You don’t. In a compromise someone always loses; usually the less dominant person.
In a marriage, you are not a “we”; you are two individuals. Sure there might be some commonalities but it stops there. Consistently forgetting who you are and catering to the other person is a recipe for disaster and resentment. When you stop identifying yourself in the relationship it is time to be a spectator of your relationship.
Yes, there is a secret for a happy marriage/friendship, it’s called –being true to you-